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The Tandia Files:Alternate One

My first post in caferati. Your comments will help me to improve and I need them desperately. So please do comment. Thanks




The mage master of Tandia was known for his sceptical whims and fancies especially in case of urgent emergencies. Ruper Bossbodian was extremely wary of him. He was in the Darshell Castle as he waited to meet this exclusively elusive character who liked to make his visitors wait for him.

Ruper was cursing his fate wondering what he was doing here. He should have beem in Shalnoara wooing Rebbela, instead he was here to meet the mage master.

The darshell castle originally belonged to Rael Naddara, the lord Protector of Tandia but he moved out since the mage master wanted it for himself for making magic tamper-proof. Ever since the Slackway  magic bombing incidents magic has been banned in Tandia much to the misfortune of the magic users. Magic providers suddenly found themselves out of job. MPO’s closed out. Non-magical companies from other paraverses came in and opened shop. Magic was in danger.

Speaking of Rebbela, she wasRuper’s wife. After losing her job as a wand-hand in the magic school of Tandia she took up a job in Shalnoara and left. Ruper couldn’t even stop her. There marriage was under stress.

Ruper worked in the Tandia Spy agency. Well in a more definitve version he was actually  the director of Tandia Spy agency. But ever since ban on magic many of his best spies had left.

‘Well its a tough time for all of us.’ The voice echoed from one far end of the castle.

He looked up. He had only heard about him. And today he was seeing him. He never knew that that the mage master was a Tarteen.

‘Glad that I am shorter and frailer than you.’ He said as he came close to Ruper and lunged his green slimy hands forward.

They touched their index fingers as a mark of respect.

‘Come in. We have lot to say and speak.’ His guffawed voice and wacky attitude gave Ruper jitters. He wondered how and why this person was made the mage master of Tandia. The black robe he wore gave him even a more insipid image, to this mage.

‘Well Timoty Slackwell is dead. You must be knowing this by now.’

Ruper nodded. He sat in one corner. Timoty Slackwell, mastermind behind the Nersis city bombing which killed 1000 people and a subsequent ban on magic was found dead in his cell. Suicide!

‘Well according to Tandian laws he was to be mauled by the mass but now since he is dead there isn’t going to be anything like that. So we must find alternate one. Soon.’

Ruper gave him a puzzled look. An alternate for Timoty.

‘Soon. This must end soon. Reports say some mage-masters are planning a revolt.’

Ruper nodded again. They were being apperehended right now.

‘What you wish me to do?’ Ruper asked.

He cackled again.

‘Find the alternate one so that he is handed down the punishment and the ban on magic is lifted soon.’

‘But how?’

‘How? You ask me how. Well here’s the answer.In the paraverse and where else. In the chaotic deep immense boundaryless paraverse.’

Ruper shuddered.

‘Paraverse ! Our answer is paraverse Ruper.’ Garwin Asanthos gave a grim look.

Ruper noticed for the first time he was serious. Garwin Asanthos was serious but then why so serious?

There was a reason. A reason that would just change the course of paraverse and its countless inhabitants.



Ruper saw the screen flicker. 3 days more to go. They were scouring through the paraverses endlessly. But then it was a gargantuan task. It was not easy. And there was danger of being caught by the paraverse monitor society for trespassing.

Karon Kalbi raised his hand in exasperation.

‘Enough.’ He said. ‘This stuff is making me sick. Why can’t things be the way it is. We can do without magic. And why should we jeopardize an innocent’s man life.’

‘Don’t get so overtly excited.’ Katarine, the signal operator admonished him. She had lost her mother in the blasts and this was getting personal for her.

‘Any hits guys.’ Ruper asked.

‘No. We zeroed on one but then we found out that his lineage belonged to the great Tenbow Dhanreli. If we pick him up then Tenbow would not be here and Tandia would never secure independence from Shalnaora.’

‘Hmm, any other hits. Make them not so obvious.’

‘Nah. We still 300 to go and yesterday Katarine picked up two more paraverse. So we had to inform the Council and I guess they are being inducted right.’


This was going to be a long night. Ruper knew  it.


His name was Timothy Macwain. When they picked him up he was in his mistress’s penthouse. The mistress was vapourized. They couldn’t keep any witness.

Ruper was smiling.

‘FBI, CIA, IRS. I pay my taxes. Am not connected to qaida or stuff like that.’ He  raged like a madman as Karon and Ruper tied him.

One blow in the head from Katarine and he stopped. Knocked out.

It was the last thing they could do.Abduct a randomone and instead place a android in his place. No one will know. And history would ran its course without deviating.

They had zeroed it on Timothy Macwain. In his late thirties, a man with a violent past but wealthy.Perfect one. The alternate one. The mass would loveto maul him. Ruper planned everything. The android would reach Timothy’s house after a car accident. Well he would change. But there must be some conditions. Car accident would be fine.Androids were fine. Perfect than humans. Was it so?

The android was now on its way to hospital. Well Ruper sighed.It was a long game. They had to wait and watch. Nothing was going to go wrong. But everything was going wrong. And no one knew.


Timothy woke up with a throbbing head. He was in a dungeon. Was he in guantanamo? Well did they came to know about his phony deals with the Koreans?

The door creaked open. It was Garwin Aranthos accompanied by Ruper and Rael.

‘Well good job Ruper. The mass will be happy. Now Rael I hope you remember your promise.’

‘I do. I will lift the ban on magic.’ Rael said.

Timothy saw them with gaped eyes. A little green man, two humans. Magic. Where was he?

‘Ah I forget my friend here. He must have lots of questions to ask.’ Garwin started.

‘You are in Tandia my friend. This is Rael Neddara, lord protector of Tandia. He is Ruper Bossbodian your abductor and head of Tandia spy agency. And this is me. The mage master of Tandia, Garwin Aranthos. Why are you here? Can’t tell you that. But you will know. Don’t try to shout. We have made you mute. Well you can say our technicians found this out. Thanks to you guys for bringing in the t.v and remote in here Tandia. Not many know about Tandia. But then many know about Tandia. Those who do business. Enjoy your stay here. Your family is safe since you are here. Ironical isn’t it. Stay here and wonder. Think. The answers will be answered. No more questions shall arise.’


Ruper was with Garwin in the Darshell castle.

‘You did well. Extremely well. I myself couldn’t have done better. Anyways as ban on magic has been lifted I guess Rebbela shall return.’

Rebella was Garwin’s apprentice. Ruper had not known the fact. Rebella never said.

Ruper gave a laconic smile. She was not returning. Not returning anytime soon.

‘Can you help me?’ Ruper finally asked. He was not going ask for help from Garwin but he was not in a position to do the things in this way.

‘What do you want?’ Garwin asked.

Ruper said.

Garwin smiled. He loved magic. Really he did.


‘Welcome home.’ Tiffany tried to smile. That was the best smile she could give. She was trying hard. But it was not easy.

Timothy smiled back. He was in a crutch.

‘Thanks. Can you just help me up the stairs?’

He was back from hospital. Hail and hearty much to Tiffany’s chagrin. The hitman must have gone into hiding. A hundred grand wasted.

As they climbed the stairs Tiffany felt she should push him. She brushed off the idea. Not a good one.

‘Daddddddddddddddddddd.’ Scream of two five year toddler echoed the room.

Timothy was a happy man. And he was going to be happier from today. Much much more happier. Or much much more sadder.


Back in Tandia Rael Neddara was a worried man. As magic was back in black many non-magical companies were shutting down shop and leaving for other paraverses. Exports were up again but since magic required fewer workforces people were losing job.

‘What can we do now.’ Rael asked Garwin.

‘Nothing. Magic has always been the essence of Tandia. Without it Tandia was suffocating. It will take time to flush out the impure air but once it goes out Tandia will breathe again. Meanwhile prepare for the elections. You will win. The mages support you.’

Rael nodded. No one knew he hated magic. Hated magic to its core.


‘Let’s go out for a long drive, honey.’ Timothy said as he returned from office.

Tiffany was vilified. Timothy had changed after the accident. Well it was good. She smiled and gave him a small peck in the cheek.

‘In a minute.’ She said and left. She was finally happy.


Timothy roared in pain as another blow of the Kartoer fell on his bare back. He was not sure of his sufferings and surroundings. He felt it was a nightmare or it was Tiffany’s handiwork. What was this bullshit called Tandia and paraverse.

He was abusive. He knew that. He was a monster. He knew that. But he never knew that he was going to get battered like this.

Suddenly he felt he was been raised up. They were going to impale him. He closed his eyes. As the Choertui entered him he gushed out blood and then he felt nothing.

The paraverse stayed in order. Nothing happened. One Timothy was able to marry Joanna who gave birth to a guy called Patrick who was the founding father of the realm of Tandia. One Timothy was able to start inter-galactic trade in earth-567 after which it spreaded across the paraverse. Timothy Anderson was the third president of the Paraverse Monitor society. And there were so many Timothy’s and they all forget about one Timothy who died in a place called Tandia. The paraverse continued.




One fine morning Rael Neddara got the resignation of Ruper. He wondered why he was doing so. He handed over the mantle to Karon Kalbi.

Ruper was in Darshell castle.

‘Well you know what to do.’ Garwin said.

Ruper nodded.

The unicorn neighed.

‘Bye.’ He said and galloped it and soared high up in the sky in search of freedom.

Garwin shrugged.

‘Well all of them can ran away but why can’t I. Shit. Just plain damn shit. I remember, now I have to make some potions. Shit. I forgot again. Hehehehhehehehehehe.’ He danced off.

Tarteens were grumpy and complaining. Give them magic and they forget the world.






Bad Poetry Day (18th August), according to Holiday Insights, is an idea that originated with Wellcat.com who "have created a number of special days and have actually copyrighted them so they can profit by it." Wellcat's page is here.

Well okay, sure, we won't infringe anyone's copyright. We can't afford the legal fees. But we hereby patent, copyright, and release into the public domain Godawful Poetry Fortnight (on the rather shaky grounds that "fortnight" sounds more poetic than "week," but mostly because it gives us more time and scope for idiocy).

Godawful Poetry Fortnight (GPF for short), we solemnly proclaim, starts on the 19th August and ends on the 31st August.

"Aha!" You say, "That's thirteen days, not fourteen!" To which we say, like all bad poets, "Nyaah nyah nyah nyaaah nyah! Poetic license! Sucks to be you!"

Godawful Poetry Fortnight has a patron saint: William Wordsworth. And he gets this signal honour for saying that poetry "is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings." Way too many aspiring poets have rallied behind that banner, too few going so far as recollecting those emotions in tranquillity, let alone reading the rest of the preface to Lyrical Ballads (which can be found on Bartleby, for those interested).

To participate, simply post a godawful poem on your blog* along with a brief note about GPF, and, if you like, a bit about what godawful poetry means to you. You don't have to link to this post, but we would love it if you did. Naah. Who are we kidding? Link here or your fillings will fall out!

You can post as often as you like during the Fortnight. Get it all out of your system. And you must pester your friends to post too. And once GPF is done, you will go and write good poetry for the rest of the year, yes? (: Until GPF rolls around again next year. :)

Please use this Technorati tag on your post: . Here's the HTML for the tag: <a href="http://technorati.com/tag/Godawful+Poetry+Fortnight" rel="tag">Godawful Poetry Fortnight</a>

* If you're one of the last seven people on earth who don't have blogs, you're welcome to use the comment space here.

Clarification: The godawful poem you post must be your own work. No picking on earnest innocents you might know.

Update 2: Here's a challenge for the really talented among you. Post thirteen godawful poems, one on each day of the Fortnight.




This community is a small part of Caferati's partnership with LiveJournal. All the action right now is based over at the India Writing LJ community, and at Caferati's microsite for the Quick Tales contest. Of course you will want to jump straight over to either of those links. (: Rs 59,999 in prizes to be won, after all, so we won't hold that against you :)

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